Top Sign you do NOT want this player for your team
- Player comes in with his hat on sideways, pants around his ankles,
boombox blaring rap obsenities, and pulls a switchblade and says,
"You cut me and I cut you."
- Limp wristed Player is unsure if he wants to play due to the
team's color coordination.
- Dad yells, "Change 'em up" from the stands during tryout.
- Dad is recognized as Coach of a competitive team.
- Mom & Dad come to the tryout with faces painted with the team colors.
- Dad comes to the tryout without the kid, but remembers to bring the
proposed starting lineup and Power Play / Penalty Kill lines.
- Player shows up to tryouts with one partially broken stick and no back up.
- Mom shows up at tryouts with an air horn.
- Dad is wearing sweatshirt that says "Corner Glass Dad".
Player arrives in a vehicle with a bumper sticker that says "My coach sucks".
You see the parents replacing the batteries in their stopwatch.
- During tryouts, player orders chili/cheese fries & large Mountain
Dew while the zamboni is flooding.
- Dad shows up with his own hockey stick and coaches bag.
- Player is wearing gear from 4 different hockey associations.
- Dad forgot his checkbook the first 2 tryout sessions.
- Dad comes to the tryouts with a flyer for a team party to be held immediately following cuts.
- Parents begin reciting stats before you can say "Welcome to tryouts".
- The parents insist that all the kids should get a trophy just for showing up to tryouts.
- Parent has "Michigan Hockey" tryout schedule with 17 different team tryout dates circled with in red.
- Dad yelling at kid in the locker room to "skate hard this time"
- Player is wearing a sweatshirt with "Mama's boy" embroidered on the front.
- "Player Position" on tryout application reads "END TO END".
- Parents complain to coach they didn't have their son's number for the pull over. They said their son doesn't play well if he isn't wearing his number and could he just wear the jersey he brought.
AND THE NUMBER 1 SIGN YOU DON'T WANT TO ROSTER THIS PLAYER:
- Parents introduce themselves using screen names you've seen on mlive.com
Top Sign you do NOT want to play for this team
- Head Coach is coaching 4 teams in the same age group, none of which has ever been above .500.
- You've seen the head coach at 2 other tryouts for other teams, not to recruit but to get his kid on a better team than his.
- Head Coach first words at the meeting are "We're looking to be a top 5 team on '96 Rankings".
- When you ask about developing your child, the coach looks at you like you're speaking chinese.
- Team asks parents to have no less than 2 screen names on MLive, which is to help make sure the team's name or the coach is posted at least 3 times daily in a positive way.
- There is no team gear, no bags, but the coach asks all parents to purchase a matching Moen bell on www.cowbells.com, just to ensure the team doesn't dip too low in the "Rankings".
- To close the team meeting, the coach repeatly says, "It's all about the Rankings, baby".... while ringing a cowbell.
- Coaches stare at a clip board and glance up only to watch HIS kid do drills for the entire tryout.
- Coach's Assistants play in the scrimmage and just dominate, not allowing any kids trying out to get in the play.
- The entire tryout is a scrimmage, but everyone has the same color pull-overs on.
Got more? Let me know and I will add them!